How out of touch can someone in authority be?

Have you ever known someone who has had zero emotional intelligence? I mean none, zero, zip, nada? I have. How can this be you ask?

Let me take you on what seems to a mystical journey because it is impossible to imagine someone with no emotional intelligence. Covey tells us not to speak behind someone's back, that we should speak as if they are in the room, and 99% of the time I agree with his statement. For this person, I will make an exception, and speak my mind but no names will be used to protect the not so innocent.

I had finished taking the summer off after I obtained my BA, and there I was in person with the Vice President of an entire company. Not some area VP or human resources person. This wasn't a small company. In the banking field, it was the 7th largest bank in the United States at that time.

I was welcomed, asked to have a seat, and we began. He really cut to the case by telling me he was the person who be making the decision if I was hired or not. I would be either hired on the spot or thanked for coming, and sent on my merry way.

The typical banter was tossed about: What could I bring to the position? Was I willing to work late and weekends? Why did I think I had what it took to succeed and so on? He told me people either produced, or they were fired. It was as simple as that.

During the interview, an important phone call came in which he had to take. Guess what? He began swearing while I was sitting across from him. One of the comments went something like “If he can’t get it done tell him his f#$king ass is fired. “

After he hung up the telephone, he offered me the position of Manager Trainee. Of course, I accepted. After all I was across from the Vice President of one of the divisions of the top 20 banks in the world. How could I say no? I would start in two weeks.

After three years in this environment, I decided to get out. To quote Brain Tracy "If you to sail your ship in a different direction, you must turn one degree at a time." In this care I turned 180 degrees at one time. What this experience taught me was better social awareness, and what to NOT do in realtionship management.

Did this person have self-awareness? Maybe, if he believed he could manage himself. Did he exhibit self-management?  Doubtful. Did he have social awareness? Clearly, no. Was he able to interact in relationship management? If you consider leading by intimidation, then yes.

His approach was not a balance of carrots and sticks but 5% carrots and 95% sticks. Hopefully, he has read or listened to some Dr. Dyer, the Dalia Lama, or Brain Tracey since then. I look at this time as a growing experience, and though this example is extreme, it shows how out of touch someone can be.